Drinking has become a part of my daily routine. I wake up at 2 pm and by 8, I’m drinking already. I guess it’s the effect of having friends and neighbors who live nearby and are unemployed, just graduated, on summer vacation, and have nothing to do.
The question is, why? Why is alcohol consumption the answer to so many things? To boredom? To depression? To celebration?
What is it about being drunk that’s so…desirable? So needed? Is it that buzz in your head that just lets you feel like you have no care in the world? That spinning around, that feeling of no regrets, of chances taken without being afraid, of just not feeling anything but happy?
There’s a feeling of just not caring. And I guess that’s what’s so appealing about alcohol. It makes you lose your inhibition, of always being just so conscious of yourself.
I guess it’s that feeling of freedom, of knowing anything is possible, because hell, no one will blame you for it, you’re wasted. It’s that power of knowing that whatever you do now is okay, is forgivable.
Being intoxicated is like a protective shell and the more shots of vodka you take, the harder that shell becomes, the less impenetrable. Because you, the real you, is untouchable, it’s off-limits. Only the drunk you exists, only that uninhibited person remains. The rest of you–your stupid, pathetic depression–is gone for a while.
No wonder then that hangovers are horrible. They’re your back-to-reality check. The happy you is gone. The crap you is there to stay once again.
absolutely spot on B
Ria, I just saw your comment now! It’s been so so long since we’ve talked. How have you been? Happy, I hope?