I’m posting an entry in a rare moment of down time in honor of the death of Michael Jackson. No, really.
I’m admittedly a posthumous fan. Before his death, the only song I really grew up with was “Heal the World” and “Rock with You”, the former because I would see videos of it as a kid and sing it in school complete with cheesy actions, and the latter because my mom loves this song.
Then when he died, I began to watch all the tributes. I youtubed Billie Jean, Thriller, Smooth Ctiminal, Beat It, Bad, Black or White, Man in the Mirror…all the songs I could find. I watched the Myx Channel’s 24 hour MJ video spree. I downloaded all his songs…in short, I did everything expected, probably to feel a sense of oneness with millions of people paying tribute, to say that I am part of this singular moment in history—even when the only song I ever had of his in my iPod was David Cook’s version of Billie Jean. I never even owned a single one of his cds.
I think a lot of people feel the same way I do. Billie Jean, Black or White, Rock with You, made its rounds around the bars and restaurants of Metro Manila and it’s funny to see people’s reactions. People like me cheer and dance “in honor of the King of Pop” while people who aren’t, look puzzled and annoyed, wondering why Pokerface stopped playing.
I know it is pretentious for me to suddenly become a fan when he DIED. It’s like I’m acknowledging his greatness (and he’s really, really great, let me tell you. I should know, having watched all those concerts) just because everyone else is, just because it’s the thing to do right now.
It’s sad that a lot of people have to wait to die before they are acknowledged. It’s sad that death is a means of making people appreciate you, of making people suddenly realize your worth. Hence, the question: is that why so many people commit suicide?
I read somewhere that suicide meant not giving up on yourself, but giving up on the people around you. So in a way, people commit suicide because they feel they aren’t being appreciated enough, and think that maybe their death will be a big FU to the world, a way of saying, “Hey I’m dead now. Remember everything I did, and wallow in remorse, bitches.”
At least, that’s one way of putting it.
